Does God Really Want You Single?
By Kathleen Hardaway
Have you ever wondered if you’ve made a mistake?
That there’s something you’ve done wrong and that’s
why you’re not married? I have. The thought has entered
my mind that maybe I didn’t try hard enough to find someone,
maybe I’ve gone to the wrong church all these years, maybe
if I was just a wee bit thinner then maybe I would have found
the man of my dreams.
Have thoughts like these plagued your mind, and you’ve
gotten caught up with doubts that you’ll ever get married?
There are very few singles that I have talked with that haven’t
at times felt like it’s their fault they’re single.
Is it your fault? Every person has a different story. I can’t
give you a pat answer for why you’re single, but I can tell
you that God desires you to do one very important thing as you
deal with your singleness--believe that He knows what’s
best for your life. When I have questioned God about why I’m
single, I’ve had to come back to the fact that He’s
in control of my life.
Does this mean you eat a gallon of ice cream every night? That
you can live any way that you want to? Of course not. You are
to have self control in all things (Galatians 5:22). Self control
in your eating, self control with what you’re reading, self
control with what you’re viewing and self control with who
you’re spending time with. Be the very best you can be in
every area of your life.
There may be someone you’re very attracted to, but you
know they’re not a Christian. Why are you dating them? God
tells us not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14); therefore, getting
caught up with an unbeliever is a big mistake. Singleness at times
can be lonely, but going outside God’s principles in any
way will only bring you more heartbreak.
Certainly you have desires, you have passion, you have a longing
in your heart to love someone and to be loved. This is normal.
I would encourage you to give your hurt, your heartbreaks, and
your desires over to God. God says to cast all your cares on Him,
because He cares for you (I Peter 5:7). Tell Him it hurts, tell
Him it’s hard, tell Him you cannot go alone anymore.”
That’s where He wants you to be, totally and completely
dependent on Him. You’re not alone. He’s always with
you (Psalm 73:23).
Does God really want you to be single? God has a plan and a purpose
for your life. Do you believe Him for His plan? Believing God
and trusting God go hand in hand. Have you ever heard anyone say,
“I believe in God,” but they don’t live by his
precepts, His principles, His promises that give them the direction
they need for their lives?
Hang on to His Word; hang on to His truth that says, His ways
are higher than your ways (Isaiah 55:9) Hang on to the great hope
in the true and loving God who says, “Trust in the Lord
with all your heart, do not lean on your own understanding, acknowledge
Him in all your ways and He will make your paths straight”
Live each day with a dream in your heart and a purpose in your
life to believe God when life doesn’t make sense, when life
doesn’t seem to be going as you had hoped, but when you
know that your Heavenly Father knows what’s best.
Kathleen Hardaway is
on staff at Precept Ministries
International and has produced and directed Kay Arthur's TV
show How Can I Live? for more than 17 years. A single herself,
Hardaway is transparent in her first book, I
Kissed a Lot of Frogs: But the Prince Hasn't Come (Moody,
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