WEDDING & mARRIAGE
Secrets for a Happy Marriage
By Bill Ellis
Special to ASSIST News Service
CBN.com SCOTT DEPOT, WV (ANS) -- Periodically, I am asked about the secrets of a successful and happy marriage. There are none.
On June 4, Kitty and I celebrated another wedding anniversary. We try to do that every year and have been doing it annually for a long time.
Did you hear about the man who took his wife to Paris for their 25th wedding anniversary? A friend said, “Wow, you did all that for a 25th anniversary? What in the world are you planning for your 50th? The man replied, “I may go get her.”
Anniversaries need to be more than travel, flowers, gifts, and spending sprees.
On the two Fridays and Saturdays just before our anniversary, we attended wedding rehearsals and weddings. May 27 was the wedding of Larry and April. Larry is a tall handsome computer technologist. April is beautiful, petite in every way, a talented soloist, and a legal secretary.
June 3 was the date chosen by two 26-year-old doctors who met in medical school. David is also tall and handsome. He is an orthopedic surgeon. Jessica is a beautiful OB/GYN specialist. She was a star athlete in high school. I have known her since she was born. It has been a pleasure to watch her reach such high goals.
I had a role in each of these wedding ceremonies. The rehearsals, wedding dinners, weddings, and receptions seem to have been close to perfection. Being with old and new friends was enjoyable.
All seemed to be happy. How can that happiness be perpetuated? Here are some suggestions that have guided Kitty and me for many years.
1. We agreed not to become disagreeable in disagreeing about anything.
2. Have a growing and deepening appreciation and love for each other. I would be severely limited without my beautiful and talented Kitty.
3. Walk, talk, travel, eat, laugh, and sleep together. It is also okay to cry together if necessary.
4. We have a love and appreciation for each other’s family. We visited with my Mother’s side of the family on Memorial Day. As we traveled, Kitty asked, “What new cousin am I going to meet today?” When you get married, you do marry the whole family.
5. Give each other some space -- time to think and be alone. An ancient proverb says, “It is better to live in the corner of an attic than with a crabby woman in a lovely home” (Proverbs 21:9 TLB).
6. Pray together and worship together. Never become too busy for God not to be number one in your life. “Love God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength” (Mark 12:28-31).
7. Recognize each other’s special gifts, talents, and abilities. No one person knows it all. Complement and compliment your spouse.
8. Laugh together. In every speech I make, for whatever occasion, I try to use a story, some humor, or say something that will be new to Kitty.
9. Enjoy your children and grandchildren. They will say and do a lot of unusual things. They will be more like you than anybody else.
10. We are anchored in the most important thing in life. Our feet are firmly planted in God’s Word.
One thing more, do not forget where you came from and who helped you get to where you are.
There are no “secrets” about being happily married. It is just a matter of doing what you now know. “It is no secret what God can do … what he’s done for others He will do for you” were the words in a song by the old cowboy actor-musician, Stuart Hamblen, whom I had the privilege of knowing. Take it to heart, it is for you and the one you love. It is no secret.
Bill Ellis is a syndicated columnist, and convention and conference speaker on every continent. He is the writer of more than 1,600 columns and widely known as a motivator utilizing enjoyment of life and just plain fun and laughter while speaking to high school, university, and professional sports teams as well as to business and professional groups of all kinds. He is accompanied by Kitty, his wife, favorite singer, editor, and publisher.
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