Mr. "Right Choice"
or Mr. "Right Now"?
By Christopher Burge and
At least half of all marriages in today’s
society are speeding down the highway to divorce, say the statistics.
It's becoming clear that many who enter marriage don’t have
enough gas for the trip. In fact, the majority of couples spend
much more time planning a five-hour wedding than they do preparing
to live under the same roof with another imperfect person for
the rest of their lives!
In Luke 14:28 Jesus says, “‘Suppose one of you wants
to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the
cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?’”
Jesus was talking about the cost of being one of His disciples,
but the principle can apply to anything we think about committing
ourselves to. He’s saying that if you haven’t planned
for it, saved up for it, and figured out a way to finish it, don’t
do it. Yet couple after couple trot down the aisle to the altar,
never giving much thought to the seriousness and difficulty of
building their lives together and completing the project until
“death do us part.” To these well-meaning couples,
everything about marriage sounds ideal. Then after the
first year, they realize it’s actually an ordeal.
Three years down the road they're tired of what they’ve
got and are looking for a new deal!
But this does not have to be the pattern for you if you'll count
the cost now and plan ahead for what happens after dum-dum-dee-dum.
Here are a few marriage myths many of us believe:
Marriage will give me a purpose for living.
Marriage will give me the unconditional love I need and
deserve for the rest of my life.
Marriage will give me all the sex I want.
Marriage will medicate all the pains of singleness and
will solve my deepest longings.
These lies that you tell yourself will only set you up for a
huge letdown. Even the best marriages do not provide these unreasonable
expectations. Only Jesus can fill those deep longings for unconditional
love and purpose. Only Jesus can heal your pain and make you whole—not
Ask yourself these questions:
Have I put God's agenda for my life above my own desires, whether
that be for sex, money, fame or relationships?
Have I dealt with my deepest insecurities and sins with Him alone?
Am I willing to honestly “test the soil” of my potential
Mr. or Ms. Right's character before I say, "I do?"
Will I actively wait or incessantly whine until God brings me
And lastly, will I settle for Mr. or Ms. “Right Now”
or wait for Mr. or Ms. “Right Choice?”
Here’s the truth. If you want to have an above average
marriage that will stand the test of time, it will take a lot
of hard work both on the relationship, and on your own character.
If you want to receive God’s best choice of a mate for you,
then you must become God’s best for someone else. Begin
today to put these truths into practice, and in both life and
relationships, you will for sure have enough gas for the trip!
Buy the book His Rules:
God's Practical Road Map for Becoming and Attracting Mr. or Mrs.
CBN.com's Singles section
from His Rules: God's Practical
Road Map for Becoming and Attracting Mr. or Mrs. Right, by
Christopher Burge and Pamela Toussaint, (WaterBrook/Random House).
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