CBN.com Tragedy struck early in Doug Partain’s life. When he was three years old, he found his father lying in the driveway. He’d was dead after suffering a blood clot at the age 41.
"I went into the house screaming, 'Daddy dead, Daddy dead."
As Doug grew up, he wrestled to understand why his dad had to die. There were no good answers, so he blamed God.
"I can remember literally shaking my fist at God and asking why did He have to kill my dad," Doug recalls. "I didn’t want anything to do with God."
That anger grew when Doug suffered another trauma. He was molested by a man from a mentoring program he was involved in.
"I was afraid to tell anybody. I didn’t know. I was 11 years old. I knew this was not right, but I didn’t know what to do."
Doug needed an escape from the pain, so he turned to drugs and alcohol. He says, "At 15 I started drinking, started using drugs, and stole a car."
As a young man Doug married and had a son. He and his wife began attending church. He even gave up the alcohol and drugs but only temporarily. The pain of his childhood and his anger toward God resurfaced. Before long Doug was using drugs once again. He walked away from both God and his family.
"When I found cocaine, I thought that’s it. That’s the ultimate life," Doug says. "[I] literally begged, borrowed and stole to get that next high. I chased it and chased it."
Doug was just one step away from suicide when he cried out to God.
"I stood up and just screamed out to God. 'Why am I like this? Why do I hate myself so much?'"
Suddenly a peace came over Doug. So he picked up the phone and called a drug and alcohol help line.
"I had an urge to talk to somebody. I didn’t want to talk to anybody I knew, because I didn’t want to lie anymore," Doug explains. "I wanted to be open and honest with somebody and tell them how miserable I was. My life was a big lie. I tried doing everything I could to cover it up."
Doug checked into drug and alcohol rehab where he attended a Bible study. There he discovered that Christ offered the love he had always longed for.
"I asked the Lord, 'Why do I keep walking away?' He showed me that I didn’t truly believe that His love would last forever. From that day on, I never doubted the love of Christ. I never doubted the kind of love Christ has for me when I asked Jesus to come into my heart and wanted Him more than anything. Then it was an incredible time. I actually felt like I was floating on the ceiling."
Today Doug is drug- and alcohol-free. He’s rebuilt his relationship with his son and gets to be part of his grandson’s life. His job as a truck driver takes him all over the country and gives him a unique opportunity to share his story.
He says, "The Lord has set me free and given me the strength and taken that desire away from me. I can tell people how addicted I was and how free I am today because of Jesus Christ."
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