The Father's Love Changes Everything
The 700 Club
“Truly a day of shame, and it was a day for me that, of course you have tremendous regret later,” says Michelle.
When Michelle Borquez walked into the abortion clinic she felt like she didn’t have a choice. She was 16, unmarried, and didn’t want to let her father down.
“I could just see his face,” says Michelle. “I mean, it was just like, ‘I can't even disappoint him.’”
Like most girls, Michelle grew up seeking her dad’s love and approval. Instead of getting love she became the target of his angry outbursts.
Michelle remembers, “A boy had come over and he was just a friend, but he had come over and he was standing at the front door and my dad came in and he was livid. And, you know, he'd throw me against the wall and he'd be just out of control in his anger.”
Without her father’s affection, Michelle welcomed any attention she could get from boys. When she was 16, she went to a high school dance where she got drunk for the first time. Later, she went home with her date.
“I was very sick, very ill,” says Michelle. “I went and laid down in one of the rooms there, which I had no memory of and that's where he came into the room and raped me.”
Michelle never told anyone about the rape. Soon after, she started dating another guy and became pregnant by him. That was when the fear of her father and the shame she was already living with led her to get an abortion.
Michelle recalls, “I can say it was traumatic, but at the time it was like, ‘this is what I'm going to do.’ And I'm angry and I'm bitter and I'm rebellious.”
For the next four years, Michelle medicated herself with drinking, partying and using drugs. During this time, her parent’s became Christians. They often prayed for her and also invited her to church.
Michelle says, “My mom said she would hear a sermon and she'd go, ‘this is it. She's going to hear that and she's going to come to know Christ today.’ And it was just falling on deaf ears.”
Michelle continued down her reckless path until one day she saw the ugliness of her life.
Michelle remembers, “Once you've gone through drinking like that and partying like that and then you come to a stop and you realize, ‘this is my life, the ugliness, the filth of it,’ it felt like I had dirt all over me.”
Michelle’s heart began to soften and long for God’s healing. One Sunday she went to church with a Christian friend. While she was there, a song really touched her heart.
Michelle recalls, “Those words, ‘I want to know you. I want to know you.’ All I could think of was, ‘okay, I’m ready. You know, I'm ready to know You. I'm finally ready to give up my will and exchange it for your will. God said to me, ‘if you choose today to follow me, I will give you life. If you stay on this path that you're on, it will bring destruction, it will bring death. And so when they said, ‘do you want to know Jesus? Do you want to accept Him in your heart?’ I said, ‘yes.’ And I said it and when I said it, it was radical. It was a radical change in my heart and it was almost like, you know, when they say ‘you're blind, but now you see.’ It's like my whole vision suddenly opened up to a new world.”
Afterward, she went home and spent one week crying out to God. Then she asked Him to forgive her.
“He revealed the dark places of my heart,” says Michelle. He began to open up my eyes to the selfishness that I had had. And I felt like there was so many people I just wanted to say ‘sorry’ to, so many people. The number one thing that I felt like, out of everything I had done, that I needed to ask forgiveness for was the abortion. It was definitely the thing that I was carrying the most shame. I gave my whole life to him. I knew at that point that I had been forgiven of all my sins.”
Michelle grew strong in her faith and Christian walk. Soon, she married and later on had four kids. She thought she had the perfect life. But then 13 years later, her husband divorced her. She tried to make sense of it.
Michelle says, “I remember going outside my home and screaming as loud as I could ‘Why? Why? I don't understand why this has happened to me.’ ‘Why am I here? And why am I alone in this situation?’”
Michelle knew she needed to get help. So over the next three years she sought the help of a counselor. That’s when she realized she was still carrying around the shame from the rape and the abortion she had as a teen.
And it wasn't until I was in counseling and I shared that with my mentor that he said to me, ‘that's a lie. That's not true.’ and he said, ‘let's pray, I want you to ask Jesus to show you.’”
God showed Michelle a vision that totally transformed her life.
Michelle remembers, “And over this diamond was this just gushing of rivers of blood just flowing over this diamond. And you could still see though the brilliance of the diamond, all the light was shining through that blood. And in that moment the Lord said to me, ‘this is how I see you. I'm able to see you as this beautiful, pure flawless diamond with so much value and so much beauty, and I can see you like that simply because of the blood of Christ.’ and, you know, it changed me.”
Michelle says she began to see herself in a new way.
Michelle says, “The shame was removed in a moment. It changed the value that I had for myself. Just to realize his faithfulness and the fact that He is so much about restoration is an overwhelming thing for me.”
Today, Michelle is enjoying life with her new husband. She’s a sought after speaker and author who is passionate about telling others that God can truly make all things new.
Michelle says, “There is hope on the other side and if you just keep pressing through and trusting Him and believing, He will bring you out the other side.”
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