The Risks of Marrying a Stranger
By Michelle Wilson
The 700 Club
CBN.com -"When I look in the mirror," says Kamal, "now I see a face that's deformed."
10 plastic surgeries and an artificial jaw could not restore Kamal Dhillons shattered face.
Kamal remembers, "He would hit me, minimum of three to four, five times a week. I don't have any nerves left in my face. I don't feel my face. There are times when my pain exceeds 10 when I just don't have pain in my jaw, I have it in my temples, migraines, back."
Kamal grew up in a middle class Indian household. She had dreams of the man she would marry one day, but the reality was, at 18, her parents chose her future husband. And it was a man who came from a wealthy and influential family.
Kamal says, "As a teenager that was my dream was to have a man who loved me, who would uh honor me and spoil me."
It didn't happen. On her wedding night she found out what her new husband was really like.
Kamal remembers, "He grabbed me and ripped my clothes off and pushed me in a corner and raped me. And everything in me died the day that I thought I was going to have a new life."
Her in-laws gave her a set of rules about how she was to treat her husband.
Kamal recalls, '"Whatever happens in this marriage, stays in this home, so within the four walls, no one is to know. You are to respect and honor your husband as if he was your god.' So now I had another god."
In the years that followed, Kamal and her husband had four children. But the abuse continued.
Kamal says, "He electrocuted me with an arc welder. He tried to take out my right eye saying I see too much. And he broke my jaw repeatedly."
Her own family knew about the abuse but abandoned her because they thought she was cursed. She had no one to help her and she wanted to leave but there was only one reason she stayed.
Kamal shares, "The fear of him killing my family, fear of him maybe even killing my children kept me."
One night, Kamal's husband tried to drown her in the ocean. She escaped, but she knew it wouldn't be long before he killed her. She fled to Vancouver where they had a second home. She vowed to return to India for her children.
Kamal remembers, "I came to a place where I was going to stay on this earth for as long as he kept me alive, just because of my children."
At the airport, a kind woman saw Kamal's tears and began sharing words of comfort.
Kamal says, "And very gently she said to me, 'I'm just here to tell you that Jesus loves you.' And the moment she said that she got my attention cause the anger in me just rose and I said, 'Really?! Jesus, the man? He loves me? That's why he allowed me to go through all this?' She said, 'You know, Jesus is a God who can hear you, who will talk to you, who will have a relationship with you. So I ask that you write to Him, you talk to Him, cause He's got a plan.' So she led me to pray.
When Kamal's plane landed her husband was waiting for her with their two oldest children. He promised if she went with him he would bring the younger two kids back to Canada. She agreed. There, his rage was uncontrollable. He forced their children to watch him abuse their mother. Kamal's oldest daughter Amy remembers.
Amy recalls, "My dad was super drunk and he was angry. He told us he was going to rape my mom. He told us that he was going to tie her hands behind her back. He told us that he would shave her head. And he did. He stripped her down and he had her sitting in the floor for hours. The most prominent thought in my life was, 'Why doesn't she just die? Cause this would all end. It'd be over. I don't have to see this anymore, and she doesn't have to go through it.'"
After this brutal attack Kamal escaped with her children to a Christian women's shelter. Her husband was later arrested. That's when she examined her life.
Kamal shares, "I had made myself numb. And now I could feel pain. Physical, emotional, all sorts of pain, all of a sudden I was feeling. And the more I felt, the more angrier and bitter I got, to the point where I hated him, I wanted vengeance."
She prayed and asked God many questions.
Kamal says, "Why would you allow this? When will I get my kids? Will you even let me see my kids? Will you do this for me? You're a loving God, could you prove yourself?"
Two years later, by a miraculous turn of events Kamal and all four of her children were finally reunited.
Kamal remembers, "It was like a dream. We were free. We were in the land that we were promised. Now I had all four kids."
A year later, Kamal found out her husband had been killed. When she and her children attended his funeral she says god spoke to her about forgiving her husband.
Kamal says, "I heard a voice so loud and clear 'Would you forgive him? Vengeance is mine says the Lord.' And I thought, 'God, you have seen me through so much, and yes, I will forgive him. I will let him go.'"
Today, Kamal takes the message of her miraculous survival to thousands. She has written about her amazing journey of healing in her book called, 'Black and Blue Sari.' She and her children know there is freedom when you allow God to turn your hopeless situation around for His glory. She says only God can give you a meaningful life!
Amy shares, "All those years that we lost, He restored. He put smiles back on our faces and joy in our hearts. So I know that with God nothing is impossible."
Kamal shares, "My scars don't define who I am. God defines who I am and He still calls me beautiful. God did amazing things. He gave me my life back. He gave me my children back. He gave me a voice and He made me a light in the dark world. And these days, that's what I do, I live for Him."
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