Easter Message Resonates with Hurt Girl
By Dory Nissen
The 700 Club
CBN.com -“He took those dolls out of my hands, and he told me to be still. He said, ‘If you tell I'll kill you! Now shut up, and lay there and be quiet.’"
Julie Green was just six years old when a 16 year-old family member ripped her innocent world apart. He raped her every time she was left alone with him. She didn’t tell her parents. “I felt like empty. I felt numb. I felt scared. My whole world just turned upside down.”
Julie suffered in silence for years until her teacher noticed something was wrong. “I told her that I’m tired of being touched. And she asked me, ‘Who's doing this?’ And I remember I was playing with crayons and I kept drawing on the paper. I couldn't tell her.”
Her teacher called Julie’s mom and Julie finally told the truth. Her mother confronted the young man and when he denied it, she was convinced Julie was lying. “I felt rejected. I felt like she didn't care. And the feeling of not being wanted and loved, and you don't care about me no more.”
Julie’s lack of self worth lasted through her middle and high school years. After graduation she found some friends who made her feel accepted. They rode in a motorcycle club and their camaraderie intrigued Julie. They remained friends as the years rolled on, but as she grew older, she realized their friendships only distracted her from the pain of her past, but never wiped it away.
“There is an emptiness in me. No one could fill it. No one could fill this. Sometimes I'd feel so empty. Something's lost and it's like I just don't get what is it?”
One night the group gathered at their clubhouse before a ride. Julie had too much to drink so her friends took her keys and left her to sleep overnight on the couch. It was the Saturday night before Easter. Her friends were coming back Sunday morning because they had invited a pastor to hold an Easter Sunrise service. Julie woke up to the pastor’s voice.
“And he started speaking about what Jesus did, what Jesus went through and why is there an Easter. Something hit me inside I've never felt. And I felt this slight little mark inside of an empty hole in my soul. Something finally touched it.”
After the service, Julie had questions. “’Do you think Jesus can help somebody like me?’ The man kinda laughed and said, ‘yeah, Jesus has a place for you.’ (I asked,) ‘Somebody's got a place for me?’ This type of feeling of being wanted and feeling like you fit somewhere; what is this?”
Julie started to attend church and soon turned her life over to God. “The day that I asked the Lord Jesus to come in my life, I felt like there was a big backpack lifted off of my shoulders; hope that I never had and a feeling of worthiness. I never felt this kind of love before in my life. But I felt a peace inside. I never had that.”
She read her Bible every day and learned she needed to forgive her mother, who had passed away, and the family member who had raped her. She did. “I don't feel anger no more.I don't feel hatred. I finally feel a peace in my heart to pray for him and I pray he's all right.”
Julie now rides with a Christian bikers association. She’s also a public speaker and tells her story about how Jesus Christ changed her life. “I've never felt the feeling of joy like I feel now; happiness. I’m thankful to know that I have purposes and (I’m) wanted and loved.”
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