Healing After AIDS
By Shannon Woodland
The 700 Club
CBN.com -“At times I tend to think about my past. Why did this happen? Why did this happen? Why did God let this happen?”
It’s a question Isaiah Borgum has asked for most of his life. Why was he born out of wedlock? Why did his father abandon him? Why did his mother do the things she did? Why did she get aids? At first, Isaiah blamed his mom.
“Why would you do this to me? You’re so selfish, I have nothing now!” explained Isaiah. “I was mad at my mom because my mom slept around and got aids.”
Isaiah was just seven-years-old when his mother died from aids. He and his siblings moved into with their grandmother. But things got worse. Grandmother had a boyfriend who was often drunk and he’d lash out at the kids. Isaiah blamed her too.
“I always blamed my grandma, why did she let me experience this, why did she let me go through this?”
As the eldest child, Isaiah took it upon himself to look after his brother and sister. He tried to protect them. But he couldn’t. And then came the ultimate why . . . after he learned his four-year-old sister also had aids.
Isaiah explained, “ In my heart I kind of knew she wasn’t going to be here forever. So I wanted to make memories with her, and keep her close. That’s why it affect me so much.”
Jazmine had contracted the disease in her mother’s womb. Isaiah watched her suffer for a year before she died short of her fifth birthday.
“She said the angels are coming to get her and take her to be with Jesus,” recalled Isaiah.
Nothing changed for Isaiah and his brother until grandmother kicked out her boyfriend. But the damage was done. Now a teenager, Isaiah battled depression and suicidal thoughts. He now blamed God for his problems.
“I wore my anger on my sleeve, how I felt inside my heart, and being mad towards God.”
In high school, Isaiah was getting in trouble for fighting and being disruptive in class. He was suspended several times and almost didn’t graduate. He turned most of his attention to girls and drinking. But that had consequences. He got a dui and lost his license. A year and a half later he got his second dui and had to go to jail
“This time there was not avoiding and not going to jail, this time I had to go to jail.”
Isaiah was sentenced to 30 days. There he had time to reflect on his life. Where he’d been and where he was going.
“ Jail was the waking up point for me,” explained Isaiah. “I realized I could continue going down the same path I’m on or I can change and seek the Lord and ask for forgiveness, ask Him to heal my broken heart.”
Isaiah also began to read the Bible and realized that he was no better than those he blamed for his suffering. But the one who was better was Jesus Christ, and Isaiah wanted to be like him.
“Just reading and learning about his life that’s when I realized that I want to be this type of man and live this kind of life than being out there dating women, hooking up with them and a few months later have broken and pointless relationships,” said Isaiah. “ And thinking that made me a man and reading about Jesus that was much more pleasant to my heart and soul, I wanted to be that type of man.”
After much thought and prayer, Isaiah released his bitterness to Jesus Christ.
“Behind me happens to be the jail where I went for my second dui, and it also happens to be the place where I accepted Jesus into my life as my Lord and Savior,” explained Isaiah.
Now 24, Isaiah is attending seminary in Sioux Falls, South Dakota and helps out at his church with the youth group. Isaiah says he’s learned much about God’s love but understands he’s only begun the journey.
“ I didn’t fully understand that He is good until I saw Him work in my life and how He delivered me and brought me out of my suffering,” said Isaiah. “ I read the Gospels and read everything Jesus suffered and what He went through and I thought, okay, Jesus suffered on the cross for my sins, if He could go through that I can suffer anything I need to suffer that will strengthen me and bring me closer to the Lord.”
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